So for whatever reason, as of late I’ve noticed some things about the people I’ve surrounded myself with. Not so much with my best friends but with acquaintances i keep. I constantly try to please everyone, or at least help in some manner as much as possible. I’ve been noticing a lot of negativity. Anger towards me, negative reactions, and rudeness; people taking shit i do for granted. I’m usually one to drop people who treat me like shit, but usually the people who do, don’t last long enough for me to have to make such a decision, but some of these people I’ve never had this issue with before. I’m thinking that its got something to do with the holidays, the lack of some people not having family around to see, or not being able to be with family but taking it out on me is getting old. I also think my demeanors got some thing to do with it. I don’t care if you’re Barack Obama or my sister, I’m going to speak my mind, whether you want to accept it or not.
o not ask for my advice and shun it because its not what you expected to hear. If you can take the time to ask, my advice will be always in your best interest. But if you’re expecting me to sugarcoat something, you’ve got another thing coming . Some people can take the truth and some people can’t. People get offended easily when you speak the truth. I’ve been told more than a few times that I’m seen as a rock, as someone people can depend on, but I’ve begun to see that people are taking me and my actions for granted. I freaking hate saying that. I hate to be so obtuse, but the truth is the truth.
A friend of mine, whom just graduated from college, found a very good job pay wise, but it wasn’t something she really wanted to do. The constant nagging, whining, and attitude that comes my way because I’m that friend, my horrible, too nice attitude. She’s sitting here bitching, and I’m just sitting here thinking to myself, can’t you just be happy you have a job and look for something better? Honestly how hard is that? People seem so negative about shit they shouldn’t be negative about. You can afford to live a very well life, and all you do is bitch. I can understand that its hard and may not be exactly what you like doing, but where did the pride of having a job and accomplishing tasks go? Whining has never gotten anyone anywhere. But considering we are in the same situation somewhat i can understand what she’s going through, i guess I’m just not as vocal about it. I’d rather keep my head down fight through the bullshit and come out victorious; not sit around and whine. Id give her some advice as to how I would approach the situation, in hopes shed maybe see something differently, but nope she’d just throw a fit and not talk to me for a few days.
The attitude im receiving is starting to bug me because I’m starting to feel like a vast majority of people are starting to do it.
I’ve spent a majority of my life being a doorknob for people and i feel like its starting to take its toll. Ive been steadfast in trying to stop it, but with certain people it just happens, forgive me for having a heart. When situations other people present stress me out, i need to step back. It’s really hard for me to do so, and I’m just starting to figure out why. These are people who were around before i started changing, after my weight loss taught me to not deal with people’s shit. I look at different people’s approaches. I look at my best friend, who keeps a constant contact with only a few people. Those people are close, but not horribly close, but they still offer a two way playing field for him. If they ask him for something it’s done, if he asks for something it’s done; there is no in-between. And there are people like my sister, who has a close knit group of friends but has a vast majority of acquaintances, with whom common interests are shared. i know that I have my best friends who will be by my side through thick and thin. Want to know how I know that? Read a few blogs back about my hospital stay. I had 3 people non family visit me, even one who took the day off and sat with my parents in the lobby throughout the surgery. None of them had to do that. But I was important enough for them to take a drive and see me when i was at my worst. Things like my friend knowing i just got laid off, and i don’t have any money to eat but still inviting me somewhere and paying for me. Being able to know that if i don’t have food to eat, i can go to his house and his family will treat me like one of their own. Knowing when something’s bugging me automatically, and offering straight knit advice. How do i know all this? Because its exactly what id do for him. That’s friendship; its stupid, and small, but it is the little gestures that show true value.
So why this blog. I hear the quote often that good friends are hard to find. People tend to look for a certain set of characteristics in a person. It’s just like relationships. I want someone who can do this or someone who can do that. Everyone’s concentrating on what everyone else can do for them. Instead of being selfish, why don’t you take a step back and see what you can do for someone else. My greatest friendships have started and been kept by helping the people closest to me. Why? Because i care about them. I don’t do it because I’m looking for something in return, or because I’m trying to amass a tally of favors. Its funny because as im not here looking for something in return, it automatically surfaces when i least expect it. That one time i forgot my wallet, or am low on a tank of gas, my true friends help without a second thought. I guarantee you if you stop looking for mediocre things and start doing small things for the people around you, all will fall into place. You must remember that this also may mean loosing them. But you must realize that people will take advantage of it, or be angry about the ways in which you choose to help. There’s no way to stop it, nor control it. You need to be yourself and respond the way in which you see fit. I’ve started to realize with a few people that when they don’t get the answer they seek from me, they’ll just go find it elsewhere. Which is fine, I’d rather know i gave someone the best advice i could, then to know i ignored them when they needed me. When i started writing this, i was in a pissed off mood about how I was supporting people and not really receiving the same support back. But throughout the course of the few days its taken me to finish this blog I’ve realized something, the true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. So where does this leave me? I cannot as a man, neglect someone who needs advice. If somebody comes to me and gets pissed for the advice i give, at least i know I gave them the best advice i could give. That’s what good people do; that’s what friends do. Elevate people as much as you can, but never cage them.