Real Men Wear Pink

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Sitting on my living room couch filling out some paperwork, I flipped on the tv for some background noise. Being background noise, I wasn’t really paying attention to what was on. All of a sudden, from the background of my computer screen, I hear it. Lieutenant Dan! Now if you’ve ever seen any good movies, you automatically know which one I’m talking about. Good ol’ Forrest Gump. Now if you’ve never seen the film, you need to be hung at the stake. Im kidding, but ill give you my little synopsis to better fill you in. The movie starts with Forrest Gump narrating his life to a complete stranger as he waits at a bus stop. His life is far from boring. He seems to always find himself in the right place at the right time in many of the most memorable events of the second half of the 20th century. As a young child on a school bus, he meets a girl named Jenny. Throughout Forrest’s whole life, Jenny and him are apart for most of the film, but no matter what happens when they see each other, they kind of just leave off from where they ended the last time. Forrest makes an abundance of interesting life choices, where as Jenny goes out and experiences the drug ridden side of the 70’s. Throughout the movie, Forrest really has no interest in any other woman, although he has less than a handful of opportunities to do so anyway. His love for Jenny doesn’t stem off sex, or beauty, but off of the true unconditional love he has for her.

So what is love? I’ll go with the standard definition first. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection. This intense feeling can be for anything from your car to a movie star. It’s funny now, after reading the standard definition, and seeing how horribly vague it is. Now off to the urbandictionary.com definition, as these seem to sum up things very well.

“The most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.

Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you’re in love, you always want to be together, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.

This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It’s when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that’s how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.

It’s when they’re the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they’re the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It’s the smile on your face you get when you’re thinking about them and miss them.

Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you’re in love. If you find it, don’t let it go.
This one word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. ”

It’s kind of interesting how of all places, urban dictionary gives a pretty spot on description. Funny thing with love is, if you ask someone, whether they deny you until the cows come home, they’ve all experienced it, most likely in both negative and positive ways. It may have only been once in their lifetime, but I guarantee you it’s been experienced. I feel bad seeing people who have loved once, been destroyed so much, that they don’t have the courage to do it again.

Love causes people to do things they wouldn’t normally do. It makes you take risks, open yourself completely to another individual putting you in your most vulnerable state. It’s finding the imperfections in another human being perfect. Love can change people. Go to YouTube and listen to Let it enfold you by Senses Fail. Did you? Alright go back and listen to Ancient Tombs by the same artist. Alright alright, you can’t handle the music, but at least read the lyrics. Let it enfold you was written in 2004, while Ancient Tombs was written is 2013. So why has the writer changed his tone, his way of thinking? It’s because of love. It’s changed a man who has hated himself and his life, into someone who loves everything about himself and his life. One simplistic thing such as love.

Want my definition? I remember sitting at a friends house, when the conversation was brought up. Her definition caught me off guard. It was once again something completely simplistic, but made so much sense. She’s going to read this and probably kill me, but for the sake of purity, I’ll take the beating. She began to tell me what it was to her and its the best description I’ve ever heard. Love is when you’ve got nothing left, no house, no money, absolutely nothing, you can sit on a curb with someone, eating a bologna sandwich, and be perfectly happy. That’s really all it is. When you’ve got nothing else in life, you’re left with one person, and couldn’t be happier about it.

The list of reasons why people love is about as big as the dictionary, but ill rap a few off. People love because its convenient to them, they just can’t help it, mystery in the situation or person, reciprocal affection, desirable characteristics, physical or emotional arousal, and social influences. There is also a large list of selfish reasons in which people love. I honestly think selfish love is hypocritical, but I’m not one to judge.

A quote that gets thrown around a lot is that true love is gone amongst my generation. I think this statement is bullshit. Society’s determination of love has skewed the way it is perceived. I hate to burst your bubble ladies, but if you think your going to have a love life like the movie the notebook, you’re sadly mistaken. Not saying it would never be that great, or never have the potential, but I think people expect men and/or women to follow some prerequisite our society has laid out. I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve truly loved someone, which has only been once in my lifetime, where it has ever gone in a pre-determined direction. Things just flow, as long as they aren’t forced; yea I’ve made that mistake too. But along those lines you can’t force anyone to love you, no matter how hard you try. On the contrary, you can’t help who you love. I know a few people, myself included who have loved someone that is not good for them. Whether it be because the point in time of your life, or their life, or because it was something out of reach. It’s a lesson Forrest Gump shows so effectively. This man lives his whole life unconditionally loving one person, and when the time comes to truly have the opportunity to do so with her, it’s abruptly taken away from him as she passes away from aids.

Forrest Gump is also extremely effective at showing the world that no matter what, anyone can be loved. It’s pretty apparent by the film that Jenny for lack of a better term is a hot mess. Horrible childhood with a abusive father, followed by the drug filled, sex fest she has in the 60s and 70s. Someone who never in her life has been loved, is still capable of being loved. Now most would agree in the movie that Forrest is somewhat of a suckass, but just like i said previously, you really can’t help who you love. Its pretty amazing when everything works out, but it can be pretty vicious when it doesn’t. I’ve truly loved only one person in my life, although things didn’t work out, she still has a small place in my heart, and always will. It’s both unfortunate, and rewarding.

Don’t get me wrong love is a amazing thing. I’m still trying to figure out why I’m writing this blog. I really don’t have much experience in the area of love. But I know how it feels. I know how it feels when you can’t live your life without someone. I know how it feels when you get butterflies in your stomach when you are with someone. I know how it feels when someone walks into a room, and lights it up. I know how it feels when you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness, for the happiness of another. All these feelings are amazing. It’s something that can’t be replaced with anything else. People try their damnedest to not feel these things because of the consequences they bring along with them. For whatever reason they put up walls, make excuses, run away from it, or never put themselves anywhere near the situation to begin with. You can do whatever you’d like, try every trick in the book, but its going to happen sooner or later. Learn to embrace it, it’s not negative, it may hurt you but in the end would you rather live life not experiencing the great things listed above? I’m listening to your head say yes, but I know your heart is arguing with it. It’s harder to pretend to love someone when you don’t. But it’s harder to pretend you don’t love someone when you really do.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isnt it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love take hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like “maybe we should be friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you apart pain. I hate love”

-Neil Gaiman.

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